Story ideas
How do you help a child feel secure being raised by grandparents?
How to help a child raised by grandparents feel proud and secure by celebrating that families come in many forms and giving them a warm, simple way to talk about theirs.
The short answer
Celebrate that families come in many wonderful forms and that yours is full of love, and give your child a proud, simple way to talk about it, like "I live with my grandma and grandpa, and my family is full of love." Speak about your family openly and warmly, teach that love is what makes a family, and provide books that reflect all kinds of families. A story that centers their family with warmth and pride helps them feel secure.
Key takeaways
- A child raised by grandparents is growing up wrapped in love.
- They may notice their family looks different, or get questions about living with Grandma and Grandpa.
- Celebrate their family and give them a warm, simple way to talk about it.
- A story that centers their family with warmth and pride helps them feel secure.
How do you help a child feel secure being raised by grandparents?
Celebrate that families come in many wonderful forms and that theirs is full of love, and give them a proud, simple way to talk about it. If your child is being raised by their grandparents, helping them feel deeply proud and secure roots them in the truth that a family is made of love, in whatever form it comes.
Children rarely see a family like theirs celebrated in a story. Filling that gap matters.
Why does a story work?
A story fills the gap of representation. When a child sees a hero like them, cherished and secure in a home led by loving grandparents, they learn that their family is one of the many beautiful kinds, and that love, not who's in charge, is what makes a family. Give the hero your child's name and face and the pride becomes theirs.
What does a good family story look like?
The names and characters are invented for this example, and every family's story is unique. In a real personalized book, the hero is your own child.
1. A hero who notices his family is different
Dominic lived with his grandma and grandpa, who loved him with their whole hearts. At school, he noticed some kids lived with a mom or dad, and he got a few questions about why he lived with his grandparents. He started to wonder about it.
2. A feeling he can name
When kids asked about his family, Dominic wasn't sure how to answer, and he wondered whether his family being different meant something. He wanted to feel proud, but he felt a little unsure.
3. A hero who looks just like him
One evening his grandparents read him a new book with a boy on the cover who had Dominic's smile, snuggled with his grandparents, and Dominic's own name across the top. In the story, that Dominic was raised by his grandparents too, and his stuffed owl Winston shared a warm truth: families come in all kinds of shapes, and some kids are lucky enough to be raised by grandparents who love them dearly. What makes a family a family is love, and Dominic's home was overflowing with it. Winston gave him a proud, simple answer for questions: "I live with my grandma and grandpa, and my family is full of love." Story-Dominic answered with a smile and felt proud of his family.
4. He feels proud and secure
As he heard the story, Dominic felt warm and proud. Real Dominic snuggled up with his grandparents and thought about all the love in his home. When a kid asked about his family, he smiled and said, "I live with my grandma and grandpa, and my family is full of love." The kid nodded, and that was that. Dominic felt secure and proud, knowing his family was one of the many beautiful kinds.
5. He comes back to the book
Dominic asked for the book again and again, because it celebrated his family and made him feel proud. He grew up secure in the truth that families come in many forms, and his, full of his grandparents' love, was exactly as wonderful as could be.
How should you use a story like this at home?
- Celebrate your family openly and warmly.
- Teach that families come in many forms, all made by love.
- Give your child a proud, simple answer for questions.
- Provide books and media that reflect all kinds of families.
What should a child say when kids ask about their family?
A proud, simple line works well, like "I live with my grandma and grandpa, and my family is full of love," and practicing it builds confidence. The American Academy of Pediatrics notes that families where children are raised by grandparents or other relatives are one of many common family structures, each with its own strengths, and that a child thrives when their home is full of love, support, and stability (Types of Families).
Keep reading: grandparents at the heart of a family show up in many stories — see how this approach helps a child when a grandparent is moving in.
