Story ideas
How do you help a child feel proud of having two moms or two dads?
How to help a child with two moms or two dads feel proud and secure by celebrating that families come in many forms and giving them a joyful way to talk about theirs.
The short answer
Celebrate that families come in many wonderful forms and that yours is full of love, and give your child a proud, simple way to talk about it, like "I have two moms, and my family is full of love." Speak about your family openly and joyfully, teach that love is what makes a family, and fill their world with books that reflect all kinds of families. A story that centers their family with joy and pride helps them feel secure.
Key takeaways
- A child with two moms or two dads is growing up in a family full of love.
- They may get curious questions or notice their family looks different from some others.
- Celebrate their family and give them a confident, joyful way to talk about it.
- A story that centers their family with joy and pride helps them feel secure.
How do you help a child feel proud of having two moms or two dads?
Celebrate that families come in many wonderful forms and that theirs is full of love, and give them a proud, simple way to talk about it. If your child has two moms or two dads, helping them feel deeply proud and secure in their family roots them in the truth that what makes a family is love.
Children absorb which families are "normal" from the stories around them. A story that celebrates their family fills a gap.
Why does a story work?
A story fills the gap of representation. When a child sees a hero like them with two moms or two dads, joyful and proud, they learn that their family is one of the many beautiful ways families are made, and that love is what makes a family real. Give the hero your child's name and face and the pride becomes theirs.
What does a good family story look like?
The names and characters are invented for this example, and the story can be adapted for two dads or any family. In a real personalized book, the hero is your own child, with their own family.
1. A hero who notices her family is different
Harper had two moms who loved her more than anything. At school, she noticed some kids had a mom and a dad, and she got a few curious questions about her family. She started to wonder about the difference.
2. A feeling she can name
When kids asked why she had two moms, Harper wasn't sure how to answer, and she wondered if her family being different was a big deal. She wanted to feel proud, but she felt a little unsure.
3. A hero who looks just like her
One evening her moms read her a new book with a girl on the cover who had Harper's smile, snuggled between her two moms, and Harper's own name across the top. In the story, that Harper had two moms too, and her stuffed rabbit Marshmallow shared a wonderful truth: families come in all kinds of beautiful shapes, some have a mom and a dad, some have two moms or two dads, some have one parent, some have grandparents, and what makes every single one a family is love. Harper's family, full of two moms who adored her, was exactly as real and wonderful as any other. Marshmallow gave her a proud, simple answer for questions: "I have two moms, and my family is full of love." Story-Harper answered with a big smile and felt proud.
4. She feels proud and secure
As she heard the story, Harper felt warm and proud. Real Harper snuggled between her two moms and thought about all the love in her family. When a kid asked about her family, she smiled and said, "I have two moms, and my family is full of love." The kid said "Cool," and that was that. Harper felt secure and proud, knowing her family was one of the many beautiful kinds, defined by love.
5. She comes back to the book
Harper asked for the book again and again, because it celebrated her family and made her feel proud. She grew up secure in the truth that families come in many forms, and hers, full of love, was exactly as wonderful as could be.
How should you use a story like this at home?
- Celebrate your family openly and joyfully.
- Teach that families come in many forms, all made by love.
- Give your child a proud, simple answer for questions.
- Fill their world with books and media that reflect all kinds of families.
What should a child say when kids ask about their family?
A proud, simple line works well, like "I have two moms, and my family is full of love," and practicing it builds confidence. The American Academy of Pediatrics notes that today a wide range of family structures, including families headed by two same-sex parents, are common, and that what matters most to a child's health and development is feeling loved and supported, regardless of their family's shape (Types of Families).
Keep reading: feeling proud when your family or you look different is a shared thread — see how this approach helps a child who's the only kid in class who looks like them.
